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The Importance of Apologies

9/20/2015

The following is presented by our 2015 scholar-in-residence, Rabbi Simon Benzaquen.

Rabbi Benzaquen is a native of Spanish Morocco and has served as the rabbi of communities around in the world, including Essex England, Maracaibo Venezuela, and most recently Seattle Washington as Rabbi of Bikur Holim and member of the Va'ad HaRabanim of Greater Seattle.
In addition he has been a co-chair of the board of Rabbis for the American Sephardi Federation and Vice President of the Rabbinical Council of America.

For his full biography, please click here.

In the Mishnah of Tractate Yoma it is spelled out what is the purpose of Yom Kippur, and what does Yom Kippur do for us (8:9). “Averot Sheben Adam La’makom, Yom Kippurim Mechaper”: On Yom Kippur, G-d forgives the sins committed by transgressing against G-d’s commandments. However, “En Yom Kippur Mechaper Averot Sheben Adam La’habero, Ad Sheyeratze Et Habero”: Yom Kippur does not atone for interpersonal errors until a person has placated his friend. That is the reason why it is right and proper to not only go and apologize to our friends for sins committed against them, but to also ask genuinely for their forgiveness before Yom Kippur.

This apology must not become an empty gesture, after which we continue with our original behavior. There is a deadline to consider if, how, and when we apologize to those, especially our most beloved, friends or family, whom we may have really hurt this year.

So what of our apologies, or better yet, our really feeling sorry? How do we consider apologizing? What is a genuine apology that is not considered an empty gesture? Maimonides, (The Rambam, spells out in great detail how we apologize to G-d, and it applies to interpersonal apologies too.

Maimonides writes that a genuine apology is when it emanates from wanting to do Teshuvah, i.e. repent from his transgression, and when he has accomplished these three steps:

Hakarat ha’Het, “Admitting that we were wrong” - admission of our personal responsibility.
Viduy, “To confess” - our sincere confession for the wrong and bad things we've done.
'Azibat ha’Het, “To forsake our transgressions” - the resolution to leave our bad habits behind, and to correct our actions.

We know that out of these three steps, the first is the most difficult to do; to admit in the first place that we were wrong, and take full responsibility for our actions. We have a tendency to automatically rationalize and justify all our wrong doings, even putting the blame on someone else.

Let us hope that we come in to Yom Kippur with a clean slate, and G-d should grant us another Year of good health and prosperity. And above all, peace and harmony in our homes, our community, In Israel, in our United States, and in our world.

Tizku Leshanim Rabbot

Rabbi S. Benzaquen

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High Holiday Highlights (Part 2)

9/9/2015

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Two Aspects To Rosh Hashanah
(Or: Observations on the approach of Sephardic tradition to ROsh Hashanah Services)

by Rabbi Simon Benzaquen

When Rosh Hashana arrives we are keenly aware of its significance. On one hand it is the awesome Day of Judgment when G-d determines the outcome of our entire year. We become anxious and frightened not knowing what awaits us. On the other hand, on Rosh Hashana night we also dip our apples into honey or sugar and partake of those symbols which signify what we hope for in the coming year; in which a happy and joyous mood prevails.

Sefaradim emphasize this happy and joyous mood of the Holiday especially in our Liturgy.

Notably, we do not recite “Unetane Tokef “ ("Let us express the mighty holiness of this day") one of the most solemn and powerful prayers of Rosh Hashana, recited by our brethren Ashkenazim as introduction of The Kedusha during The Amida of Mussaf. Attributed to Rabbi Amnon of Mainz (10th century), “Untaneh Tokef” is a heart wrenching prayer, filled with emotional and powerful words which would lead us to cry and emphasize the sad aspect and judgment of the Rosh Hashana Yom Tov. In contrast, our sister Congregations, The Ashkenazim, make this Prayer the central theme of the Rosh Hashana Amidah.

Reviewing the laws of Rosh Hashana further reminds us that within judgment itself there is cause for rejoicing. We enter the day clean and dressed in our best garments as a sign of our confidence in a favorable judgment. On Rosh Hashana we do not recite the vidui (confession). Rather than focusing on past sins and seeking forgiveness, we look forward with optimism to the future.

When we properly understand the future of the judgment on Rosh Hashana, however, the apparent paradox of rejoicing in judgment evaporates. We recognize that it is we who require the Divine Judgment, the annual opportunity for spiritual stocktaking. We summon G-d to judge us with the blasts of the Shofar that herald the convening of the Divine Tribunal. Our voluntary submission to judgment arouses Divine Mercy; that is the secret of the Shofar. The shofar also reminds us of the merits of our patriarchs, Abraham and Isaac, who were willing to sacrifice their lives for the love of G-d, and in their place a ram was brought.

On the two nights of Rosh Hashana we should make sure that we partake of the symbols that we hope for in the coming year. Also, during the two days of Rosh Hashana, Monday, September 14th, and Tuesday, September 15th, we blow the shofar in our Synagogue. Everyone should come to the Synagogue both days of Rosh Hashana.

Hearing the Shofar is the most important obligation of the two days of Rosh Hashana.

TASHLICH
We have a beautiful custom. On the first day of Rosh Hashana we recite the Tashlich Ceremony near a body of water. Tashlich are prayers recited while symbolically throwing away our sins.

Minha: 5:00 PM
Tashlich (at Lake Park & 12th Avenue): 6:30 PM
Arvit: 7:30 PM

Ziara - Cemetery Pilgrimage
On the Eve of Rosh Hashana, or Sunday before, it is customary to make a pilgrimage to the cemetery (Ziara) to recite memorial prayers at the grave of the righteous, including members of our families who are buried there. The purpose for doing this is to pray to G-d to hear our prayers in the merit of the righteous.

Tizku Le’Shanim Rabbot.

Rabbi Simon Benzaquen

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High Holiday Highlights (Part 1)

9/1/2015

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by Rabbi Simon Benzaquen

We are now in the month of Elul, the last month of the Jewish calendar. It begins a period of intensive introspection, to clarify life’s goals, and to come closer to G-d. It is a time when we step back and look at ourselves critically and honestly, with the intention of improving.

The four Hebrew letters of the word Elul (aleph-lamed-vav-lamed) are the first letters of the four words Ani l’edodi v’edodi li — “I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me” (Song of Songs 6:3). These words sum up the relationship between G-d and His people. In other words, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah is a time when G-d reaches out to us in an effort to create a more spiritually-inspiring atmosphere, one that stimulates Teshuva (repentance). It is a time for us to take advantage, and get closer to G-d, since He, as it were, has put Himself in a situation of closeness with us and desires our presence in any way that we acknowledge Him, and especially when it brings credit to Him.

40-DAY PERIOD

Over 3000 years ago, when the Jewish people were privileged to hear G-d utter the Ten Commandments set in tablets of stone, the Jews later sinned with the Golden Calf. Moshe desperately pleaded with G-d to spare the nation. He did, and that same day that G-d spared the Nation, it became a “Day of Forgiveness” - “Yom Kippur”.

On the first day of Elul, Moshe ascended Mt. Sinai, and 40 days later — on the seminal Yom Kippur — he returned to the people (Jews) with a new, second set of stone tablets in hand.

For us as well the month of Elul begins a 40-day period that culminates in the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur. During this period, many people increase their study of Torah and performance of good deeds.

Selihot

We Sefaradim begin reciting Selihot from the first day of the month of Elul onward until Yom Kippur. Selihot is a special series of beautiful prayers that invoke G-d’s mercy. These prayers began Monday Aug 17th, and in most Congregations, including Magain David, Selihot are recited early in the morning, before Shaharit.

After the sin of the Golden Calf Moses asked G-d to explain His system for relating to the world. G-d’s answer, known as the “13 Attributes of Mercy,” forms the essence of the Selihot prayers.

The “13 Attributes” speak of G-d’s patience. The same G-d who created us with a clean slate and a world of opportunity, gives us another chance if we’ve misused the first one.

Selihot should be said with a minyan. If this is impossible, then it should still be said alone, omitting the parts in Aramaic and the “13 Attributes of Mercy”.

Selihot are held every Sunday and weekday morning at 5:30am.

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The Importance of Apologies

High Holiday Highlights (Part 2)

Two Aspects To Rosh Hashanah(Or: Observations on the approach of Sephardic tradition to ROsh Hashanah Services)

High Holiday Highlights (Part 1)

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Two Aspects To Rosh Hashanah
(Or: Observations on the approach of Sephardic tradition to ROsh Hashanah Services)